There. Whoop-de-doo. Now that the boring introduction is dealt with, I'm going to tell you what this blog has to offer to someone like you—though I'll warn you in advance that it will offer nothing at all if you're hoping this is the best blog in the universe and expect me to be a genius who will show you the secrets of instant blogging success if you buy some such product from me. Nope, it won't happen. First of all, the idea of Template Faerie being the best of blogs is debatable, and secondly, there are no secrets to blogging, as far as I know. Blogging is blogging and that's all there is to it. Like it or don't.
But here's what you can expect from this blog—that is, if you haven't already figured it out due to severely impaired vision, ignorance, or some other fatal condition.
This is not a serious blog, because I'm not a serious blogger. My writing style is far from being professional and I have a tendency to be weird. While I love reading and can easily become engrossed in a good book, I don't follow many blogs, because they all say the same things and are a waste of my time. Sometimes I hate my blog, and come to think of it, I'm not sure why I started blogging when I don't get much out of it except a lot of frustration and a little enjoyment—but I doubt you care why I started this blog. I know I wouldn't. But you get the point—I'm not a serious blogger.
This is a no-nonsense all-nonsense blog. Confused yet? Let me explain. The advice I give is straightforward, honest, and down-to-earth—no fluff. But I rant a lot, rave a little, and I don't like to stick to the "official blogging rules". You may find my blog to be rather unconventional.
I can't stand SEO and make-money-with-a-blog articles. When done right, they may grab my attention, but for the most part, there's nothing new they have to offer that can take residence in my brain. They're overdone, overcooked, burnt to a crisp. But those aren't the only topics I avoid. There are more, but I won't get into that or I'll keep you up all night.
Now you're probably wondering what it is I do write about. This and that. Nothing in particular. Whatever that happens to be on my mind that relates to blogging.
And now, dear reader, you know a little about my blog. But you probably have a few questions, such as...
Why is your blog called "Template Faerie"?
A logical question, but no, in case you're wondering, I'm not claiming to be a faerie. The faerie is that goofy cat thing at the top of my blog holding a wand. Why a cat? Well, why not? Cats fit everywhere—they're universal.
Template Faerie is supposed to specialize in templates, hence the name, but I get sidetracked easily, and templates don't create themselves, you know. Really, I still plan to make more templates, but that's just a plan, which often means nothing at all.
Why don't you have a custom domain?
First of all, my success as a blogger doesn't depend upon my domain name. Secondly, I don't care if I'm judged by my domain name. That's just stupid. And thirdly, I'm lazy. I just haven't changed it. What's so wrong with that?
Why don't you post more often?
Really, I don't sit in front of my computer all day long writing articles. My brain rejects such loathsome ideas. My blog is not my business. My blog is my hobby. My blog is my blog. So there.
What are those strange, blobby creatures in your posts?
Those are "blobbers". I decided I could no longer search Flickr for some mediocre picture that a dozen other people are using, so I draw my own now, using Photoshop and a mouse. Yes, a mouse—it glows red and blue, and sometimes it flickers. Please get me a graphics tablet for Christmas. I hate my mouse.
I'm working on a blog right now the blobbers can have all to themselves, which will feature even more doodles. It's one of those "coming soon" things that may never come at all...
About Me
Unfortunately, there's nothing epic to put here. I'm nobody important, I'm not a so-called "expert" on any subject, and I haven't done anything amazing (yet), so obviously, I'm not somebody to get excited about. I'm just a blogger trying to achieve—well, nothing in particular.
Outside the internet world, I'm a reptile enthusiast and I have a small collection of scaled friends: four painted turtles named Eeny, Meeny, Miny, and Mo, and a black ratsnake named Flitz. Like most pets, they possess voracious appetites and never seem to be satisfied with anything.
Congratulations, you've made it through almost 900 words without falling asleep. And, what's even better is that if you're reading this, you're still alive and breathing. Incredible.
So, has this blog enthralled you? If so, you'll want to do at least one of the following:
- Fill your inbox with updates via uber-special emails
- Overwhelm your favorite feed reader with Template Faerie's spectacular RSS
- Or simply follow this blog through Blogger
You can also catch up with me on these other sites:
- Google+
- StumbleUpon
- Blog Engage
- Bloggers.com
- Facebook (Yes, Facebook, you deserve to be here at the bottom. I don't like you.)
Thanks for poking around my blog!
My name is Sarah Payne and this is my corner of the internet where I share my rants and raves, goofy cartoons, and nothing but the highest quality blog templates. Around here, fluff is banished, ugly blogs are forbidden, and everybody gets second servings of ice cream. You don't have to do anything except stick around to enjoy the tax-free benefits of being a citizen of my empire. No strings attached.
